SELF EVALUATION

After thousands of days here. There are views that can not be seen again, there are those who will never be found again after a lot of things happen how can we remember all the mistakes I’ve ever done?

SELF EVALUATION

If you still keep a notebook of your classes from years before now or other old records. As we flip through the pages, we often wonder how we changed in the shortest time since the writing was made. It may surprise you to see what is wrong in the writing, but may also be surprised by the good things you have ever written. The history of the world has changed, so have I, you and us.

We have only one chance to live, maybe I do not want to entrust the future not to the expert, but who humans are the experts to face the future.

Much has changed since we have seen the sides of the world.

After thousands of days here. There are sights that can not be seen again, there are people who will never be met again after many things happened how can we remember all the mistakes ever made?

Tonight, in this muhasabah1), along with the notes I have ever made. I realized with such a high ego, I made artificial wings, and when I fell, wounded others. I am sorry for the mistakes I made, and the mistakes that occurred because I did not do.

I do not wish you deserved forgiveness, how can I win against myself?

I put the ropes of my heart in the hands of God, even though I (may) be wrong. Whatever you say to cook, I declare it to be burned. In the end, I’m just a human who has two hands and feet, two ears and understanding, two eyes and mouth.

I do not know, maybe nature gives answers, or even add questions.

If you see the ocean near, millions of tiny white glowing water bubbles, which appear and disappear with the waves. There are always new bubbles that arise and disappear in a regular rhythm of wave motion. After being carried away by the peak of the wave for a while only. Each of us is nothing more than a shimmering, drip of a wave of time moving down into an indeterminate and foggy future. We appear in the world only briefly to disappear. We are not visible in the great flow of time. There are always new and newer people. What we call fate, is nothing but our struggle in a crowd of drops that rise and fall with the waves. However, such a brief appearance should be utilized. So that our appearance is not in vain, never

Muhasabah1) comes from the Arabic word hasiba yahsabu hisab, which means etymologically is doing the calculation. In terminology, the meaning of muhasabah definition is an attempt to self-evaluation of good and evil in all aspects

Translate From: Muhasabah

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CHILDREN FROM HEAVEN

The night after the exhaustion of work, or passive in front of the television. They have to swallow an adult world, which does not want children to like their own world.

CHILDREN FROM HEAVEN

Stories about children can sometimes cause us to contemplate. Children contain dazzling things. If there is freedom, which is not attached to purpose, selfishness, target, that is true freedom found in children.

But not all children are lucky.

Some were hunched carried the oil cans along the way. Or persuade guests from the dirty stalls to be willing to hire them to polish shoes. Their world beaches are very limited.

Strangely they are not alone. On the other hand, in the beautiful houses, buried in plastic, electronics, ornaments. There is a child accompanied by a grandmother, parent or television set.

They can no longer play in the true sense of the word. Their time has been seized. They no longer create toys and sing themselves under the moon. They are carbized by songs and the world of adults.

The night after the exhaustion of work, or passive in front of the television. They have to swallow an adult world, which does not want children to like their own world.

The question is, why would they sacrifice happiness? Though their lives are not ours.

Translate From: Anak-Anak

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PERANG DI JALAN ALLAH

Perang di Jalan Allah Perang Aceh 1873-1912; oleh Ibrahim Alfian

PERANG DI JALAN ALLAH

Perang di Jalan Allah Perang Aceh 1873-1912; oleh Ibrahim Alfian; Cetakan Pertama 1987; Penerbit PT New Aqua Press; Jakarta

Free download Buku Perang di Jalan Allah Perang Aceh 1873-1912

Perang di Jalan Allah – Ibrahim Alfian

Review

Sejarah perang dan pertempuran serta kebijakan militer dan politik di Aceh telah cukup banyak ditulis, bahkan latar belakang persaingan politik-ekonomi yang menimbulkan perang ini serta kelemahan struktur Kesultanan Aceh dalam menghadapi ujian keras dari luar, bukanlah hal-hal yang terlalu asing bagi mereka yang mempelajari sejarah. Tetapi pertanyaan yang selalu mendesak ialah dari manakah sumber kekuatan Aceh sehingga bisa bertahan demikian lama, bahkan hampir tiada henti? Inilah pokok yang menjadi pertanyaan Teuku Ibrahim Alfian dalam menulis buku ini. Apakah yang disebut dengan “Perang Sabil” itu dalam kesadaran Aceh? Bagaimanakah para ulama membina semangat perang sabil dan menjadikannya sebagai bagian dari kesadaran Aceh? Berbagai contoh dari karya sastra keagamaan yang diciptakan selama perang serta tulisan-tulisan para ulama dibicarakan dengan menarik dalam buku ini.

Dr. Taufik Hidayat

Artikel-artikel tentang Aceh:

  1. PEREMPUAN ACEH FULL POWER 4 AGUSTUS 2008;
  2. MENYUSURI JEJAK DARA PORTUGIS DI ACEH 6 DESEMBER 2008;
  3. TEUKU UMAR PAHLAWAN 11 FEBRUARI 2011;
  4. FILOSOFI GOB 10 OKTOBER 2011;
  5. KEBENARAN YANG SAMAR 28 FEBRUARI 2013;
  6. GAM CANTOI TIADA 30 MARET 2013;
  7. PERANG CUMBOK SEBUAH REVOLUSI SOSIAL DI ACEH (1946-1947) 18 JUNI 2013;
  8. TSUNAMI 26 DESEMBER 2015;
  9. PERADABAN TANPA TULISAN 25 FEBRUARI 2016;
  10. SURAT TENGKU CHIK DI TIRO KEPADA RESIDEN VAN LANGEN AGAR TERCAPAI PERDAMAIAN DALAM PERANG ACEH MAKA BELANDA HARUS MEMELUK AGAMA ISLAM DI TAHUN 1885 4 NOVEMBER 2016;
  11. PARA PENYEBAR KEBOHONGAN 13 NOVEMBER 2016;
  12. MENGUNJUNGI RUMAH PAHLAWAN NASIONAL CUT MEUTIA 17 APRIL 2017;
  13. SAMUDERA PASAI SEBAGAI TITIK TOLAK ISLAM DI ASIA TENGGARA, SEBUAH UPAYA MELAWAN PSEUDO SEJARAH 24 APRIL 2017;
  14. EMAS, KAFIR DAN MAUT 20 APRIL 2017;
  15. MENGENAL LEBIH DEKAT POCUT BAREN 5 MEI 2017;
  16. OPERASI PENYERGAPAN BELANDA TERHADAP CUT MEUTIA 7 MEI 2017;
  17. MENGUNJUNGI PAMERAN BATU NISAN ACEH SEBAGAI WARISAN BUDAYA ISLAM DI ASIA TENGGARA 15 MEI 2017;
  18. KESULTANAN ACEH NEGARA BERDAULAT PERTAMA YANG MENGAKUI KEMERDEKAAN REPUBLIK BELANDA DARI KERAJAAN SPANYOL DI TAHUN 1602 18 MEI 2017;
  19. SYARIAT ISLAM SIAPA TAKUT 6 JUNI 2017;
  20. SENJA DI MALAKA 14 JUNI 2017;
  21. KRITIK KEPADA SULTAN ISKANDAR MUDA 4 JULI 2017;
  22. HIKAYAT SUKU MANTE 5 JULI 2017;
  23. TEUKU NYAK MAKAM, PAHLAWAN ACEH TANPA KEPALA 30 JULI 2017;
  24. ASAL MUASAL BUDAYA KOPI DI ACEH 1 AGUSTUS 2017;
  25. MUSIBAH TENGGELAMNYA KMP GURITA 6 AGUSTUS 2017;
  26. PERANG ACEH, KISAH KEGAGALAN SNOUCK HURGRONJE 7 AGUSTUS 2017;
  27. ACEH DI MATA KOLONIALIS 8 AGUSTUS 2017;
  28. MELUKIS SEJARAH 10 AGUSTUS 2017;
  29. NASIHAT-NASIHAT C. SNOUCK HURGRONJE SEMASA KEPEGAWAIANNYA KEPADA PEMERINTAH HINDIA BELANDA 1889-1936 14 AGUSTUS 2017;
  30. ACEH SEPANJANG ABAD 16 AGUSTUS 2017;
  31. PERANG DI JALAN ALLAH 30 AGUSTUS 2017;
  32. ACEH DAERAH MODAL 7 SEPTEMBER 2017;
  33. 59 TAHUN ACEH MERDEKA DI BAWAH PEMERINTAHAN RATU 12 SEPTEMBER 2017;
  34. KERAJAAN ACEH PADA JAMAN SULTAN ISKANDAR MUDA (1609-1636) 13 SEPTEMBER 2017;
  35. PERISTIWA KEMERDEKAAN DI ACEH 14 SEPTEMBER 2017;
  36. PASAI DALAM PERJALANAN SEJARAH 17 SEPTEMBER 2017;
  37. MATA UANG EMAS KERAJAAN-KERAJAAN DI ACEH 19 SEPTEMBER 2017;
  38. ACEH MENDAKWA 21 SEPTEMBER 2017;
  39. MISI MENCARI MAKAM PARA SULTANAH ACEH 6 OKTOBER 2017;
  40. BERZIARAH KE MAKAM SULTANAH MALIKAH NAHRASYIYAH 8 OKTOBER 2017;
  41. EKSPLOITASI SUMBER DAYA ALAM APAKAH BAGUS UNTUK ACEH 15 OKTOBER 2017;
  42. AROMA MEMIKAT DARI DAPUR ACEH 16 OKTOBER 2017;
  43. TARIKH ACEH DAN NUSANTARA 29 OKTOBER 2017;
  44. PEKUBURAN SERDADU BELANDA PEUCUT KHERKHOF DI BANDA ACEH SEBAGAI SAKSI KEDAHSYATAN PERANG ACEH 11 NOVEMBER 2017;
  45. PEMBERONTAKAN KAUM REPUBLIK KASUS DARUL ISLAM ACEH 17 NOVEMBER 2017;
  46. TUANKU HASYIM WALI NANGGROE YANG DILUPAKAN SEJARAH 19 NOVEMBER 2017;
  47. KOPRS MARSOSE SERDADU PRIBUMI PELAYAN RATU BELANDA 8 DESEMBER 2017;
  48. HIKAYAT-HIKAYAT DARI NEGERI ACEH 16 DESEMBER 2017;
  49. LEGENDA GAJAH PUTIH SEBAGAI ASAL NAMA KABUPATEN BENER MERIAH; 12 JANUARI 2018;
  50. SECANGKIR KOPI DARI ACEH; 22 JANUARI 2018;
  51. ACEH PUNGO (ACEH GILA); 8 FEBRUARI 2018;
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POETRY OF KINDERGARTEN

children play without the burden of misery

POETRY OF KINDERGARTEN

 

children play ball in raindrop

in the joy of togetherness

children play ball without burden of misery

without being overshadowed by fear

without a veil of hypocrisy

if the world is like this reality

how beautiful

children play and keep playing

 

Equal River, August 16, 2000

Translate From: Anak-Anak Bermain Bola

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YANG MENGGELANDANG

Pernahkah kita bertanya, seberdosakan apakah kita? Ketika memilih tidak berbuat.

YANG MENGGELANDANG

 

Kita mesti pergi pagi-pagi

Sebelum kita kena guyur lagi

Sama pemilik emperan toko ini

Seperti kemarin kita alami

 

Ayo nak, kita ke pinggir kali

Mana tau ada rezeki

Dapat sampah syukur sekali

Bisa tukar sesuap nasi

 

Ayo anakku sayang, ayo kemari

Jangan kamu rewel lagi

Tak sanggup ibu menyusulmu lagi

Apalagi berjalan kesana kemari

 

Aduh sayang jangan nangis lagi

Tak usah ratapi dirimu sendiri

Walau perut belum terisi

 

Sudah nasib kita tertulis begini

Suratan takdir ditentukan gusti

Ayo anakku sayang, ayo kemari

 

Sudah peluk saja ibumu ini

Cuma ini yang dapat ibu beri

Kelak kau ingat besar nanti

 

Banda Aceh, Minggu 17 Nopember 2002

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DISEASE TO DEATH

Human evolves over time, so does the problem of life.

DISEASE TO DEATH

Human life in the world is only temporary, like a traveler journey at this time we just take a moment under the shade tree. Although for a moment, this temporary stopover became the key to the next journey. Determine the direction of heaven or hell someday, amid the heavy burden of this man must avoid a deadly disease called despair. Every human will surely experience this desperate disease. For that, humans have to treat themselves.

Human must think about the various relationships that have something to do with him. Parents, lovers, friends, work, future, and others. That’s what we call ourselves! And it is related to self. There is a concern in organizing every related relationship in that life. Confusion to do this and that, if this and that. That balance makes people hesitate, while time keeps moving forward.

Human has no experience of dealing with the future, in terms of success and failure, he can only see what happened behind. That’s annoying.

Every human being is a thinker

For a thinker (every human being is a thinker), the number of through difficulties will make understanding plus the look of human life. We can divide human beings into two kinds of life.

  1. A sensitive way of life, a selfish way of living, wanting to fill his life with external stimuli, usually a miserable life. Or an important moment of pleasure, do not think long but feel the need for a deep relationship;
  2. A way of life that depends on what is outside of yourself like wealth, branded goods, big names, awards, titles. Always need external stimulation. This way of life makes self-reliance lost, and can not control yourself. There is no peace and tranquility, carried away by external stimuli.

In fact, losing oneself is tantamount to despair. But this feeling of hopelessness can not be felt from drowning into stimuli (feeling winning, when actually losing). And anyone can live every day as usual, while carried away to the shallow place psychologically.

In fact, the main life problem of this way of life is not being responsible to yourself. The person who thinks all of his actions are effects from the outside will do anything irresponsible, and throw his own responsibility.

Some people (including authors) have also done that when he wants to forget all the trouble of avoiding escaping. And losing self, discarding responsibility for yourself. But luckily I can go back to myself, thanks to the people I love.

But it is true, the world is coincidental but consequent and realistic. Therefore humans are easy to live a sensitive lifestyle that is dominated by outside influences, but there must be a way of life rooted in our own lives so that we find alternative ways of life. That is the ethical way of life.

Ethical is how one is like living. Clearly, the ethical way is a way of life that relies on oneself. And this way of life aims to escape from a sensitive despair through a strong determination. The ethical way of life accepts all responsibilities that are self-related, choosing the most appropriate for oneself. Realizing that it was not someone else who made me like this, but myself, I chose myself through various possibilities (path of life). Among the possibilities that exist in the self, there is a strong determination to face the world, of course with his own efforts.

Choose yourself with your own responsibility (often a small decision that changes the way of life) and accepts the risks. Because to be who we want to be, we must move on with our own strengths (also forgive ourselves for the mistakes of the past). Trying to choose oneself for an unclear future, without blaming others.

But, not everyone can do this way of life perfectly. Because the world is all coincidental (eg want to be a poet but suddenly because of the circumstances must work as an accountant). Each person has their own living conditions. The important thing is acceptable or not, like dialectics.

Because the future is uncertain, indeed all will be afraid, if told to be yourself or shown others way of life. Of course, you (and I) also can not accept that “I wish I was not what I was expecting” is not it? If so, the feeling must be stopped.

Human should not despair of losing oneself. Are you aware? Someone when alone starts talking to himself and approaching self-existence. There are times of avoiding the substance of self-hating and self-despising thinking. Perhaps the present is considered hopeless and begins to look at his substance including hating yourself, even in the future. Actually, the condition was not despair but disappointed.

Despair is actually losing the substance of self or losing oneself. The deadly disease is when the self-does do not want to be responsible to self, or the same as despair. Despair is not self-chosen or an undesirable identity. Then when the truly despairing human being who comes to him is death! Identity has been dying.

The death of the body is not the actual death, but the death of the soul is the actual death.

The death of the body is not the actual death, but the death of the soul is the actual death. Losing substance, the substance is the freedom of the soul’s desire of the self. Therefore, when the self-wants to choose you with full responsibility, there must be a sense of worry in order not to choose the identity. All of that is caused by worry when the self is facing the substance of self.

Humans are desperate to escape from worry. Human thinking, which I do not want to face is not a weak self, but I am afraid and do not want to face the true substance of the self. All fear of the future and the responsibility and freedom to transform into a new self.

The human theme that lives in the present, is the theme of passing fear and approaching the substance of the self. It is true, as long as man lives, he can not avoid despair. Because of the despair itself, it exists with a substance called human.

There is some despair that exists with human substance. And so that people can be more aware of themselves, in the end, there are three kinds of despair that can make the death of the self.

  1. The despair of the surface of the despair of a sensitive way of life. A state in which the human is not aware of the despair of forgetting the freedom of self to become a new human being. Despair because of self-does not want to find the identity and just live to have fun. Humans that can live despite despair, but the human can not be separated from the empty sense that appears unnoticed. However, to fulfill this void, it seeks outer value but delusion, it will not satisfy itself and will not free from discouragement. And the human soul will be brought to the lower stream and seek the worse / position himself, and laugh at him;
  2. Desperate for knowing the substance of the self. This despair is a desperate form of human who wants to confront the substance of the self. A genuine form of hopelessness than the one previously mentioned above. Desperate for not wanting to be true identity, for wanting to avoid reality, worry because freedom and responsibility choose an identity. Despair for cowards, for fear of mocking themselves. He confines himself and closes his heart, does not know about freedom and responsibility and can not hear outside sounds. But while avoiding the substance of the self, the fact that the self-has do not become a desirable figure continues to haunt, it is the voice that wants a new figure to continue to grow and suffering continues. One day he imagined death physically. Even though he realized it would not solve anything. Desperate for not wanting to be one’s self, it is desperate despair and alienation;
  3. Desperate for wanting to be an unrighteous identity. Desperate for trying to defy responsibility and freedom in choosing an identity. The despair of the grumpy. Today more and more people have this kind of hopelessness. He rejects substance and feels irresponsible in finding the true identity. Like giving up the full responsibility to the community. He feels himself at this moment because of everything that exists outside of him. He thinks that when anger is his true right, he feels himself who can not change for the better because of others, and that suffering does not escape. Because, by feeling himself as a victim, he can attack others and still be considered right. By considering all enemies, he discards his identity and is not free from suffering. He felt hurt so he could harm others, always be in the mind of evil, and attacked everyone other than himself. The despair of this type is resistance, they fantasize as a victim.

Despair is a human weakness, the three examples above are the conditions in which humans are really desperate.

Humans are altogether free, it is difficult to live straight and ethically. Despair for humans has not changed from before until now. We must be aware that the suffering of despair will continue, we must awaken ourselves about despair and help at least ourselves.

Humans (including me) as individuals, in order to deal with the substance of the self, and manifesting the existence of the self, must know the ethical path, the difficult ethical path in order to become the desired figure. And at the same time understand the weakness of self, weakness shaped the fear of freedom, responsibility, and future.

I must live ethically, ethically toward the future. So what should I live for? Can I say that all this time my choice is not wrong? Actually, during life, that worry must exist. And is it after humans know the substance of self, then the fear will be lost? Certainly not!

Human evolves over time, so does the problem of life. The way humans avoid from despair is to live with higher levels of soul. And it’s hard to move for the better every time.

So the way out of despair is religion. Islam teaches sincerity. Sincere is the highest science facing destiny, which is difficult though. Sincere is the sacredness of the heart in worshiping God as well as relating to fellow human beings. Cleans the heart and purifies the intention without sanctions and excessive presumptions to anyone. Forgive others, and forgive yourself for all the mistakes of the past. Because a tricky mistake in the past will be an obstacle to improvement to the future, what if he becomes traumatized. Sincere is pure, without conspiracy. With a clean heart then the mind will be clean anyway.

By being a sincere individual, human beings are free to choose themselves ethically and dialectically and build self-worth, because the world is built from many selves. Everyone must find the value of self-building. With a determination to find what is becoming dissatisfaction in oneself, and find the value that becomes the handle of life.

Among everyday life, there must be much doubt about what has been done. But if you have value (religion), when you feel lost to weakness, that value will help you.

The human must go on ahead, even though it is faced with a strong current that can deprive itself. Human also brings wounds of the past, but to move on, he must be brave! Though it means having to risk all the existence of the self. To create a better self, we must fight with life.

Every human being (including myself and you) is the main character of your life. Choose and make your choices with confidence. Every day we choose ourselves without getting tired of the hope of happiness tomorrow. Do not be afraid to fail! And face it bravely!

Referral literature: The Sickness Unto Death by Soren Kierkegaard.

Translate From: Penyakit Pembawa Kematian

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AT THE CROSSROADS

Today on the road
I have to choose which way to go

AT THE CROSSROADS

 

Too much doubt stoning the soul

It will be a never-assured future

One by one the dreams fall

Together with the stinging sea breeze

 

Where is the glory when there is no courage

Why be shy

Recognize that the soul has ballooned

Rotting in prejudice

 

Indecision is implied

In tranquility with a smile

Today on the road

I have to choose which way to go

 

Lhokseumawe, April 5, 2008

Translate From: Dipersimpang Jalan

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POETRY OF THE WANDERER

I have been wandering along the west and east coasts.

POETRY OF THE WANDERER

I have been wandering along the west and east coasts

On the shore of this desolate shore, I was alone and witnessed

I love this life when I cried when half the land became an ocean

And to this day, finding my beloved is gone

I am just a wanderer now

I am tired of wandering all the time

I want to rest with friends who have preceded me

Banda Aceh, October five two thousand and eight

“Fate has even surprised a man, in a short number of years. How the same hometown looks so alien when looked at different times, all changed.”

Similar articles:

  1. HOW TO TURN LEAD INTO GOLD; 3 April 2017;
  2. PLEASE, DO NOT LET ME LOVE HER; 2 May 2017;
  3. LETTER TO LISA; 9 June 2017;
  4. REQUIEM OF UNFINISHED STRUGGLE; 12 July 2017;
  5. HEAVEN; 16 July 2017;
  6. A LETTER TO A STORY IN THE PAST; 19 July 2017;
  7. SADNESS; 21 July 2017;
  8. OH MAN, I COMPLETELY DON’T KNOW YOU; 23 July 2017;
  9. THE LIVING MEMOIRS; 29 July 2017;
  10. A FORGOTTEN DREAM; 7 August 2017;
  11. ALL FOR THE SAKE OF LOVE; 12 August 2017;
  12. A SUFI SONG; 13 August 2017;
  13. THE POET; 17 August 2017;
  14. FRUITS OF ANGER; 20 August 2017;
  15. HAPPY FOR THOSE WHO HAVE; 22 August 2017;
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HAPPY FOR THOSE WHO HAVE

Happy for those who have
Pain for the poor

HAPPY FOR THOSE WHO HAVE

 

Happy for those who have

Pain for the poor

Like oil and water

Very disagreeing about taste

 

Happy for those who have

Pain for the poor

Such as servants and masters

Disputes in color

 

Happy for those who have

Pain for the poor

Such as servants and masters

Different languages

 

It’s really hard for the poor

Really nervous for the rich

Then feel it

 

Bait al-Hikmah, 30 Safar 1438 H (30 November 2016)

Translate From: Senang Bagi Mereka Yang Berpunya

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FRUITS OF ANGER

Anger Fruit Painting

FRUITS OF ANGER

 

Momentarily stared at blue sky

Unspoken words

Expanse of earth rolled up

Trapped strongly in universe

 

Scorching heat of the sun

Bring a thousand curses at heart

On the sidelines of wind bring sad story

Scatter broken branches

 

28-08-2001

Translate From: Buah Amarah

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